12/12/06
- crime/community/industry

Colossal Drugs Haul

Britains largest drug manufacturing shutdown on record leaves local residents stunned

Behind the closed doors of the Pfizer complex, A secret thats hard to swallow is finally exposed with a massive police operation.
Chief Police Officer Roger Dingwood said: "They've been working under the guise of a pharmaceuticals company for years, but the truth is they've been making drugs all along."

It wasn't just the community that was shocked by the discovery, it seems even some of the many people employed by Pfizer were unaware of the companies true motives.
Former Employee Darren Shotling explained: "No, I had no idea we were making drugs. My job was simply to fill soluble capsules with randomly concocted chemical compounds and test them on students."

Head of Pfizer UK Owen Wicker was kind enough to answer a few questions for our correspondant Philip Dillinger:


Owen Wicker, Head of Pfizer UK

By Philip Dillinger

PD:What are you wearing right now?

OW:Uhm, jeans, sneakers, mcr shirt

PD:Whats ur fave color?

OW:turqoise

PD:How many rolls of film do you need developed?

OW:none

PD:Have you ever made out with anyone in your top 8?

OW:lol!! corey

PD:Do you have a crush on anyone?

OW:hehe yeah kinda I guess

PD:Does anyone have a crush on you?

OW:I think maybe, I dont know :-p

PD:Eaten oreos in the past month?

OW:dont think so

PD:Gone skinny dipping in the past month?

OW:No its too cold!!

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